Does Your Spouse Feel Wanted?

After you have worked all day, got the kids to and from their after school lessons, got home  and made dinner only to find several more piles of laundry to do and then  trying to prepare again for the same cycle the next day do you ever find yourself saying F$%! being sexy???? 

It almost feels like a distant fantasy to be able to tap into that side of yourself and make that time for you and your partner to find that passion again. Who has time for that right? Who has energy for that? Wouldn't sleep at this point just feel so much better than anything else? You might even be wondering when the last time was that you got some decent sleep without waking up running from sun up to sun down. 

I know that tapping into your sexy feels like a chore at times. And you might even feel the resentment building up because you feel like you have to "perform" in order to connect with your partner or keep it interesting. The question I hear a lot from women I have worked with is "Why am I not enough as I am?"

You are not alone in that feeling. I know at times it can feel overwhelming and lonely but this frustration is not where the story ends. And I want to offer a different perspective. It's not about being enough as you are. That's not in question. You are more than enough and your partner knows that as well. Being sexy is about not settling for ordinary rather commiting to living a turned on life.

Listen to this story.

I was talking to one of my dear friends last night and asked her this question: 

Should we make ourselves sexy for our partners? And vice versa. 

Now she is married to a really wonderful guy. They have stood in this middle of the storm of life together and come out stronger. I look up to her because I want to model that same strength in my own relationship. 

She shared with me that for awhile this year she had let life and overwhelm take over.  She realized at the point where she was ready to call it quits on her marriage that she needed to dig deeper. She fought the feeling of making her marriage disposable and she fought the complacency of just being roommates with the man she loved.

 She started doing simple things to accentuate her features and take care of herself from day to day. She was super conscious not to overdo it because she didn't want the entire experience to be based on her having to do all this sexy stuff all the time. Which is a good note to make. She took small actions that she could do consistently. She noticed that she was starting to feel better about herself and she approached her day to day situations with a different energy after caring for herself. The most noted thing was that she saw a spark in her husband's eyes that she hadn't seen in quite awhile. Seeing that spark was enough to make her want to continue this pleasure practice for a lifetime. As she continued this practice in small ways for herself she noticed that he started to shift as well. He was doing more to take care of himself, to be more helpful around the house and generally the communication and energy between just felt lifted to a higher level.

The first thing that resonated with me about this story is that as she committed to the pleasure process she brought him into it as well. Her pleasure became a source of power & transformation.

She ended her conversation with me by saying that she realized that her husband needed to feel wanted as well. 

That was the big aha moment for me. 

Our pleasure process is always first and foremost about self + our relationship to our Divnity. The point where it comes into practical use is in our relationship with our partners. It's when we extend this pleasure that we are channeling that we transform and inject love into everything that we touch.

So often we can get caught up in the "what am I getting from this?" mindset that we forget that love is about giving and service. And the only sure thing that we have is our own ability to access that power within ourselves and share it. 

I know that you are a woman that wants to devote love + passion to her relationship in any way that she can. I know that life has gotten in the way. I know that you are tired. I also know that you are a resourceful woman and when things need to get done or when things needs to change you know how to take action. You take action for your babies. You take action for your job. You take action in being their for your friends. Now it's time to take action in service of you and creating a passionate relationship.

Now with the Holidays approaching and crazy money is being spent and time God how do we find more time! Why should you take this class before the New Year instead of waiting?

  1. To be honest this isn't some new year,new you bullshit resolution that you won't keep. This isn't about being a new you, it's about reactiving the best part of you that you have gone numb to. 
  2. This is about putting life back into your relationship because it's desperately in need of a revival. And hey if you two feel more loving with each other and the sex is hot there won't be any fake smiling for the camera at Christmas dinner or crying in the bathroom when you can get a moment away. 
  3. You owe it to yourself to stop putting off the work that is needed in order to really feel happy in your relationship and life
  4. Finally when you have a desire and you take action immediately you get better results. Saying you'll take the class in the new year is like saying you'll wait until next week to start the diet. It never happens. And that's the difference between relationships that thrive and relationships that suffer into death. People in relationships that thrive see something is off balance and they take action because they value the connection and they aren't afraid of doing the work even if it's uncomfortable because they know the reward is priceless..

What's the reward? Waking up to the love of your life everyday knowing that you all are facing life together with each step. Keeping your family intact for the right reasons. Growing old with this person you've invested your life into. Finding a new level of intimacy that you never expected.

If you are ready to try a different way of relating and ready to run your life and not let it run you then I want you to join me for ECSTASY. 

Ecstasy is a small group mastermind experience designed to help you reclaim the passion in your life and relationship. The program includes a mix of private coaching, small group masterclasses, live intensives, pleasure challenges and so much more. 90% of the program is virtual so you can join me from anywhere in the world. 

If you're serious about making a change in your relationship I want you to fill out this application. 
I review applications daily. Once I have reviewed your submission and if it feels like you are a good fit for the program you will be contacted to do a phone consultation. 

I will be taking on 20 clients for this program. Applications will close December 23rd 2016

Learn more about ecstasy + apply here