Your Self-Care Is Not A Weapon.

Photo by Aviator Consulting

Photo by Aviator Consulting

Have you ever....

Showed up for your friend's event.
Hauled ass to your mom's house to help her bring her fifth 6 foot plant into the house - because you can't imagine your mom carrying that up the stairs.
Sat in the grocery store parking lot to rewrite the 36 item grocery list from memory that you left back at the house.
Skipped your mani/pedi for the second time this month to make sure you got the snacks done for the PTA meeting. 
Checked homework.
Broke up fights.
Coached your bestie through a breakup.
Made dinner for the family and then meal prepped for the week ahead.
Got that document back to your annoying co-worker that she asked just as you were walking out for your much needed hair appointment. 
Opted for the new dishwear set on Amazon over that dress you've craving. 

And then when you finally slipped into the shower at the end of the feel like what's left for me?

These cycles come where it feels like no matter what you'll always fall to the bottom of the to do list and you want out.

Out of this prison of constant doing. 
Out of this nightmare of laundry
Out of this cycle of stagnant energy

So there's two options:

You can enforce self-care as a weapon and barrier between you and the people you love.


You can Integrate self-care as part of the fabric of your wellbeing and radiance. 

If you have to slow down because there's an emergency this is not self-care this is crisis management. 

When you slow down for no reason other than slowing down means you refuel your tank this is proactive care. 

When we use self-care as a weapon we throw up our guards to the outside world and create isolation and withdrawal. While it may feel momentarily good to snatch back your sense of power, it doesn't solve the crucial underlying issue. Often times we are able to run on the fumes of living without self-care because we are propelled by others needing, wanting or showing appreciation for us being around. The moment there is a disruption in this external praise/validation, the questions of 'Am I taking care of myself?" starts to rise up. We read the disruption as a rejection and attempt to shield ourselves from more pain by enforcing or over zealously indulging in a new self-care practice.  It works for a second but the lack of real purpose slowly brings this new path to a halt. 

The question "Am I taking care of myself?" is valid and it's a question that needs to be asked relentlessly when things are good and when things are not so favorable. Taking care of ourselves is not a tactic we pull when we are disappointed or pissed off about how much we have overextended ourselves. If you constantly find yourself going for "me time" after a big fight, disagreement or other unsavory experience then it might be time to re-evaluate the motive and also look to other tools to help you communicate your needs/boundaries/desires. Self-care as a reactive practice can only fuel you for so long. And when your body picks up that this downtime is more of an escape than an attempt to recharge - you don't get as much out of the time.

Being proactive + consistent in cultivating a self-care practice will leave you feeling:

  • recharged consistently & operating from a full tank vs. fumes

  • calmer in your approach towards conflict with your loved ones

  • clear about what you desire & not shrinking to the belief that what you want can't happen for you

  • willing to speak up & to listen with an open heart 

  • confident in the vision that you have for your life.

On The Reclaiming Your Sexy Retreat San Rafael 2019 we're going to learn how take exquisite care of ourselves on a day to day basis. We are stepping back into our birthright experience radiance consistently - not just after we have completely burned the candles at both ends of the stick. 

Interested in applying?  Make sure to note the following dates: 

  • December 14th : Last Day To Apply For 10 Month Payment Arrangement 

  • December 30th: Last Day To Apply For 4- Part Payment Plan

  • January 15th: Last Day To Apply (No Payment Plans Accepted)

Questions? email

In reverence to your sexy,