Self-Care isn’t always easy. It’s a necessity.
Happy Sunday! What y’all looking forward to today? I’m spending the day resetting with my love. I don’t know about you but sometimes taking time for myself and for my family is really hard. I value so much being able to do purposeful work + secure the bag, that I miss out on a lot. Also, operating for years in my business without staff has been taxing and taken a toll that I’ve had to acknowledge. I made a decision last November to change the way I work. I wasn’t touring anymore. I opened my private coaching practice. I scaled back. But I fought it. I fought the ease because I was use to being busy. And what I’ve learned from my coaches - there’s a difference between being busy and making money. There’s a difference between running a business or the business running you.
I love my ambition and drive but I also have been hella tired. And wanting more... I know my hustlers and go getters can relate. You know you want the dream (your book deal, your seven figure business, your PhD, your thriving private practice) but you also want sex, vacation, real and meaningful friendships, time to really enjoy being alone reading a book or just watching makeup tutorials on YouTube. But where do you have the time?
Slowing down feels fucking costly. I’m always afraid of how far behind I’m falling when I stop to rest. No matter how much I know in my soul and my spirit that I NEED to slow down, I still have resistance. The minute I force myself or life forces me to sit down, I immediately remember how good this feels.
And I question:
Why am I fighting feeling good and feeling at ease so much?
Why am I fighting against the dreams that I desire?
The answer my shame tape.
There’s a cultural shame tape playing and the narrative says women must give endlessly in order to be valuable. It couldn’t be any further from the truth. And as we all know this. We also have to be willing to look at the ways that our lives still replicate/perpetuate this lie.
I am not a factory.
I am not a product to be consumed and discarded.
I am not an endless supply of support, problem solving, nurturing, guidance, effort.
I am not here for your entertainment; Unless I say so.
That looks like:
Taking it all on.
Not hiring help.
Feeling guilty for taking breaks.
Saying yes to everything.
Figuring it all out.
Never asking for help.
Traveling only for work.
Not having pleasure.
Always ending on business.
Always being in “Strategy” mode.
Always in transition.
Working more than you’re with family.
Distancing yourself from connection.
The Bitter Gang (Snappy, Angry, Constant Worry, Guilt).
Waking up and going to bed on work.
I have been all of these and sometimes on the same day.
It’s not the life we really want. Can’t we agree?
So stop now. Stop now while you can and before it’s too late. Stop now and trust that you can find a new plan. Stop right now and re-prioritize. Stop right now and trust that the money will come if you get a full 8 hours. Stop right now and go make love. Stop right now and eat. Stop right now and watch a good movie. Stop right now and say no I can’t do that anymore. Stop right now and hire a nanny. Stop right now and send the laundry out. Stop right now and hire someone to build that website. Just put it all down and stop trying to do it all. No one needs you to be the be all and end all. No one. We keep putting life off until to tomorrow, and we don’t have any say so over the next five minutes. So be present now. Enjoy now. Be in love now.
Ready to reimagine the way you show up in your life, in bed and in love?
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